I suddenly thought of a way to do this, right after I switch methods for what I needed doing so I don't need it any more. It should have been obvious to me near the start as well .
If you use a quadratic bezier for the path instead, then alter the value of t for smooth paths so it runs against it linearly. I have tested the values in a spreadsheet which I wrote before and it works perfectly.
You have: D = 2(1t)t*Q + tt*R
Where D is the distance it should be moving linearly calculated, which in the script is the value of (position  ppi>position)*total_length. Q is the length of 2ndpath point to the 1st one and R is the length of the 3rdpath point to the 1st one. Then that can be rearranged using the quadratic formula to:
t = (2Q + SQRT((4QQ + 4D(R – 2Q))) / (2(R – 2Q)) //You have to check for 2(R – 2Q) = 0 also, in which case set t to 0.5
Then just use that value for t with a regular quadratic bezier equation to calculate the x/y positions and it will work correctly linearly as well as curving correctly. But to be honest I really can't actually be fucked programming this, maybe in a month or something lol. I really don't need it any more myself so until maybe it's an issue for someone else I can't be bothered doing it.
