This is merely a parody.
All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
It happens once in a while, people stop posting, and then nothing happens.
So, now, this is the time when Josh comes along and posts an Announcement with a title like "Totally New Stuff".
But since he's taking a while(maybe it's the curse. I mentioned Aurora a while back and this might have killed ENIGMA), I figured I'd save him the trouble and do it myself.
[insert troll/obscure reference greeting here]
I know I haven't posted in a while, but that's because I was busy rewriting the parser again. It now handles stuff like "int x; = 2; 3" which turns out to be valid GML. It also serves coffee to the user, just not Java coffee, because Java sucks.
The new parser is much better than the old one, although it causes about 20 regressions.
I was also working in implementing user events, but those don't work because IsmAvatar refuses to be my slave. She claims she has a life besides LGM. *BLASPHEMY*
I also managed to get a new LGM option to improve compatibility with GM. It says "Be slow". Because GM is so slow ROFLCOPTER, and being fast breaks compatibility with some GM games. So this option injects a sleep() every 20 statements, to keep things balanced. But it's not just any sleep. It's a C++ sleep. Yeah! Damn straight.
Also, Windows 8 is retarded.
[insert random see you later note here]
Then Rusky comes along and posts
If you used decent parsers and LLVM, you wouldn't have to keep rewriting the parser. It'd be perfect and flawless in the first try.
an ENIGMA fanboy
a honorable gentleman comes along and says something like
LLVM sucks! It's interpreted and JIT compiled, so it's slower than C++. Everybody knows GCC is the best thing ever. Except GCJ. GCJ sucks.
Then Josh replies to Rusky
My goal is to create a simple and powerful non-garbage collected C++ environment, and LLVM pollutes that idea. I can add Clang to the config later, but having ENIGMA directly emit LLVM opcodes? No way, it pollutes my idea of a perfect world.
IsmAvatar comes in and comments
You do know the code is open-source and you could patch it yourself, right?
I'm allergic to Java. Even using a computer with Java installed makes me itchy.
I once wrote a Java Hello World program and had to stay in the hospital for one whole week.
an early adopter comes in:
I tried to compile a simple game but it gives me an error:
GCC error 1: Make love not warWhat does this even mean?
Are you using the very latest SVN revision?
What are the contents of your platform.ini file?
I'm using revision XYZ.
Here's my file:
(Contents of platform.ini here)
I'll look into it.
But meanwhile you can use revision ABC.
The next C# will have async. Will ENIGMA also add something like that in a future version?
Are you MAD? I haven't even got C++0x lambdas to work.
Are you MAD?Possibly.
(insert 3 more pages of essentially the same)
Then a few more topics come along, and after a while the forums die again.
And then Josh posts a new announcement. And it all starts all over again. A never ending cycle.
I wonder if it keeps going on forever or if it ever reaches a stack overflow...
That's it. Nothing else to see here. Move along.